Miss Dawna

Miss Dawna is one of Easton Fabulous teachers this year. She is one of the kindest women I have met in a long time. Today, she lost her life in a car accident on her way to work. And as I picked up Easton from school today, we all cried in the halls. We keep saying things like, God's ways are higher than our ways, and God will be glorified through this... Right now... I don't care! How does a mommy get taken from her babies??? Two beautiful babies who will never again be kissed by their mommy, and who will never again be tucked in at night by their mommy. A husband left to face life as a single dad. Who probably didn't even get to do much more than give his wife a quick kiss goodbye before work this morning. A sweet little 3 year old girl who will grow up with out her mom by her side. And a handsome little man who will probably not have any memories of his mommy. It's not fair!!! It's not fair!!!
I am surprised that I still DAILY think of Jenny Bazillion. I didn't even know her. But I just couldn't believe God would take such an amazing woman from this world in such a shocking, hurtful way. Leaving her family to deal with life without a wife, and without a Mommy. I am reminded by her DAILY to give my kids a little extra love even when I am tired, or angry, or frustrated.
My heart is just aching as I lay my kids down for bed tonight, to think these ladies' kids are going to bed without that kiss from mommy. What would my family, especially my children do with out me??? And how can their families manage with out them? It is NOT FAIR!!!! I can't understand. My heart is broken for these families. If you read this, please just say a prayer for them. For these precious men who have to explain why Mom is not there. And for these babies (and young ladies) who are left behind.
We love you Miss Dawna, and we will miss your smiling face.

The big 3-0

I am so excited to FINALLY post this! I still get a little frustrated with myself that this has taken so long. I mean, I have been working out and eating better (not "right", just better) for over a year and a half! But it is always so nice to meet a goal. THIRTY pounds GONE!!!! I sure would like to lose 5 more before summer. We'll see! I still don't think I will be wearing a bikini. I am a little too jiggly after3 babies. Maybe next year after some body sculpting and a little plastic surgery it might be a different story. LOL But for now. I am happy with myself.

First TEN down

TWENTY down

THIRTY down!!!!!!

On a side note... What the heck happened to my feet??? They used to be so cute. I think they grew 5 sizes through each pregnancy! LOL

cycle

We have the ugliest cycle going on in our house. It makes me sick even to tell about it. I wake up every swearing, "today will be a better day with Makenzie" And nearly every day, it is not. : ( It seems to start the second she gets home. I vow each day to greet her with a smile when she gets home from school. And usually I do. But that is where things seem to always go wrong. When I ask her about her day she usually mumbles something about why her walk home was bad, slams her bag on the table and for one reason or another gripes, yells, or rolls her eyes at Thain. And that is my button that usually does it. I start with a polite, "Makenzie, I'm sorry if you had a bad day. But we shouldn't come home and be mean to our family." Then she does her homework. From there, lately it is CONSTANT whining! My reaction to this is the part of the cycle *I* need to change. I don't handle whining well. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Especially coming form my almost 10 year old! "mom, why can't I stay on the wii?" " MOM, I don't want that for dinner" Mom, I don't want to clean my room" All said in the WHINIEST voice you could muster. The first few, I just smile and say. "I'm sorry" but after about 2 hours of it I. AM. DONE! For instance. Tonight, she has been in the shower SCREAMING because the water is too cold in the shower. I told her to turn the cold water down (hello, she has been taking showers on her own since she was 6) Each time she would yell at me that the cold water was off and continue just screaming, "But it's cold, I don't want to take a shower" over and over. I went in, guess what... turned the cold water down. (random example, but that's what is happening as I am typing) And I end up by the end of the evening being so tired of grouchy, whining, bad attitude that instead of spending EXTRA time with her (which is what I KNOW she needs) I just want her in bed and quiet! A couple of nights a week, I try to talk to her about how WE, together can break this cycle. She usually smirks and shrugs. Then I get ticked because she thinks it's all so funny. I know alot of this is regular pre-teen stuff. But I can't handle it. I can't handle disrespect. I can't handle always feeling like a bad mom to her. I can't handle the way the tension of the house changes when she gets home every day. And I know I am the adult. And I am the one that needs to change. But like I say, It is a cycle. And so far I haven't been able to change it. Just so frustrated

getting there

I know I never post any more. But jsut in case any one is wondering how it is going, I thought I would go ahead and do a recap. : ) I am feeling so good! I am absolutely NOT where I thought I would be after a full year of working out. But I am SO MUCH better than I was a year ago! I started out 14 months ago weighing over 158 pounds. Couldn't blame it on the baby any more. I thought I would lose 20 pounds easy as pie, then have a few more to work off. BOY was I WRONG. It took about 3 months to even lose 5 lbs! It was pretty frustrating at the beginning, and there were alot of times that I jsut wanted to give up. But I haven't. I have built a pretty solid routine of going to the gym, and change tiny parts of my eating habits. And now 14 months later I am down to 135lbs. I WAS 133 before the holidays but with all the hustle and bustle my works out took a time out. I actually was pretty happy with only gaining 2 lbs when I didn't work out for over a MONTH! My goal for January is to get back to my regular schedule of going to the gym AT LEAST 4 days a week (hopefully 5, but hard to find time) ANd to get into the 120s. It sounds so easy, all I have to do is lose 6 lbs this month, but I had been at 133 since Sept and didn't go down! LOL. SO I am taking this whole month to really concentrate on me and what *I* need. I am so excited about the next leg of this journey. I mean, hello, I lost 25 lbs last year, If I lose 15 more, I will be a thin 120lbs! And I don't expect to do it quickly. I mean, shoot, If I am 35 years old and 120 pounds I am happy with that. I don't need to stress myself, and make myself think it all has to be done in a month. It is about building habits that I can live with. Not losing the weight quickly and having to FIGHT to keep it off. Don't get me wrong, My HOPE is to lose it by March ( I mean, come on, it is FIVE FREAKIN pounds a month, totally doable) But if I don't I won't beat myself up about it. I will end this with couple of pics. The first of me, about a year ago feeling yucky and fat. and the second a little more recent feeling a little bit better about myself. : )

Giving

I have been strongly convicted recently, that the theme of our family Christmas needs to be "giving." We are incredibly blessed to be a family of six, on a single, stable income. Of course we struggle here and there. But it is never the kind of struggle where we have to ask "should we pay the electric bill, or the insurance this month?" Our struggle is more of us not putting money away for the kids future, and not keeping a 6 month reserve in the savings account. But other than that, we do ok. And our children have SO MUCH! There are some things they do without, but not because we can't afford them, but because we choose not to spend our money on those particular things. I can't even imagine the thought of my children not having enough to eat, or not having warm clothes when it gets cold. We are very blessed. And it is hard for me to imagine that there are families RIGHT HERE that DO worry about those things. And I realize that if it is hard for ME to grasp, my children surely can't understand it. The kids know that we donate alot of stuff to charities, but I don't think they actually know, or understand where that stuff goes, or who gets it. I have thought alot about how to teach my kids about giving this year. I want something a little bit closer to home. Even the angel tree, they just drop the stuff off at the mall, and don't have any idea what happens to it after that. SO this year, I have contacted The kids school and asked if they have any specific families that are in need. Even I was a little surprised when they said they have many! It hurts my heart to think that kids, THEIR FRIENDS, have to go to school hungry, because they can't afford enough food. We will not know the name of the family, and will give anonymously. But I think it is good for the kids to know the things we are giving are going to someone who really needs them, and that they go to their school. Hunger, and poverty are not far away. I tend to think everyone is like us. They struggle a little, but can always make it work. But that is not the case. There are people, in our own backyards, struggling to feed and clothe their children. And kids who don't get to go home and play on the computer, or eat snacks twice a day, or have a safe car to get to school in. I don't want my kids to grow up thinking they are entitled to their things. I want them to appreciate them. Also, and more importantly I want my children to have a spirit of giving... of KNOWING how lucky they are and wanting to pass blessings on to others, with a joyful heart. This will not only be a good lesson for the kids, but for me as well. Sometimes I get so caught up in what my kids "need" that I forget they have MORE than they will ever NEED. I am praying for my family this year to not worry so much about what we get, or what we want. But to be able to focus more on what others need.

practical motivation

Here is a quick little bit of practical motivation. Today, I added 8 minutes of the stairmaster to my 45 minute cardio routine. What can 8 minutes do??? Well, in 8 minutes I burn about 100 calories. I know that on my body, burning 800 calories equals about -1lb! SOOOO... by adding only 8 minutes to 4 of my work outs a week (and what's 53 minutes compared to 45??) then every month I will lose and extra 2 lbs! So instead of losing 6 lbs this month I will lose 8! And 8 puts me half way to my remaining goal of 15lbs! 8 minutes guys! : )

Motivation

here is my new motivation...

Update

So, here is a quick update on how I have been doing. I seem to get stuck on certain #s right now I am stuck on 141... My goal was to be 139 by the end of June... Then I stretched it to July, and here it is the middle of August and I am still that same weight. I am ok with it, because at least the # isn't going up. And I know it is totally my fault. The last several weeks I haven't been on any type of schedule. I get to the gym when I can, but I haven't gone out of my way to make time.. And that is what you HAVE to do. I have to make myself go, even when I am busy, even when the kids are grouchy. I HAVE to go. I am pretty surprised at alot of the every day changes I have made that I am completely comfortable with now. I don't even miss my coke anymore. We don't buy regular chips.. only baked or cheerios snack mix. We don't eat a restaurants hardly EVER. Even a restaurants "healthy menu" is FAR from low fat. When I do eat fast food, it is almost always Subway or quiznos (no cheese, and fat free dressing) And I always try to eat a banana before lunch.. That sounds silly, but they are surprisingly filling, and I like em. : ) I have gotten back on track this week, gone every day but Wed, and feel great. I think the last couple of those 140lbs will come off soon and get me to the 130s. That always gives me new motivation. SO be expecting a post soon that I am FINALLY in the 130s. : )

short and to the point! : )

SINGLE DIGIT!!!

The 4th

We always have such a blast on the 4th of July! We have started a new tradition of the kids staying at the Hilton Hotel in Southlake with Grandma. We load everything up to watch the fireworks out there. Then spend the whole afternoon playing in the pool. The kids LOVE the pool. And we don't have one near us where they can wear their floaties, and play with all the water toys. It is nice now, because except for Easton, the kids are pretty self-sufficient in the pool. Thain still wears a life jacket, Ava swims really well with her arm floaties, and Makenzie is a great swimmer. Easton's favorite part of swimming was jumping off the side of the pool and walking on the steps. She is surprisingly brave in the water. We were out at the pool for over FOUR hours! And luckily, not a single sunburn! I think this year the kids might have been more excited about the GIANT bathtub in Grandma's hotel room! When we first went to the room, we told them this was where we were going swimming, and they were actually ok with it! LOL

Here they all are, getting ready to go swimming and playing in the tub!

Grandma really enjoys the new tradition she started!

Me and my girls!

My sweet Thain and pretty Easton!

Thain loves his sister! Ava loves him too, but was very sleepy!

So after the pool we walked around the Town center for a little while, then we were off t our fantastic seats to watch the Works. Ava was a little freaked out, but Easton loved them! She sat in Grandma's lap and pointed at each one. I was too busy trying to get the settings on my camera just right to take pics of the fireworks, to pay attention to the kids. LOL But I got a couple of really good shots, and I was really excited about them! After the fireworks we took the kids up to the room, they all took another "bath" in the bathtub. Then we made a nice big bed on the floor for all of them. They passed out right away! Rick and I left with Easton. It was such a fun night. The kids really look forward to it every year!

With only 2

Sometimes (ok, most of the time) I forget how wonderful it is to slow down and enjoy time with my littles. My days are usually spent fluttering around the house, doing dishes, picking up wet bathing suits, griping because someone left a toy in the living room. When we are home I feel like I don't have fun. I am so stressed day to day about keeping up the house, and making meals, and stopping fights. It really doesn't leave me much time to just chill with the kids. So often I go into my room just to hide from the noise, or to eat without the kids taking my food, or to not have a kid tugging on me for 2 minutes. I feel guilty about all of that. But that is life with 4 kids. It's hard, and it's tiring, and it's tedious. Lately I don't even notice the fun stuff. The oppertunities I do have to jump in and have a giggle with the kids, or laugh at one of Ava's knock knock jokes. But they ARE amazing! And tonight I got a little reminder of that. Thain and Ava both fell asleep around 4pm. Usually disaster! When 7pm rolled around I thought I was going to be lucky enough for them to sleep through the whole night, after such a busy day. But no! At 715 they both woke up. OH NO!!!!! I knew that would mean they would be up ALL night! Makenzie spent the night at a friends, and Soon after they woke up, Easton went to bed. Well, let me tell you... That is when the fun started... seriously. I made the two littles dinner. Since it was so late, I just did simple, and easy, sandwiches, banana, wheat thins and a cheese stick. I let them eat in the living room- a big no-no on our house. And we watched SYTYCD. Ava and Thain copied each of the dances as we watched them. (to the best of their ability, LOL) They gave me commentary on the outfits that they were wearing, "Mommy, you need a dress like that sparkly one" and "Why is that girl have holes in her tights?" When we finished "dinner" we all colored. Thain drew a picture of him and Ava together and Ava helped me color a veggie tales picture. Ava was surprised I was such a good "colorer." When we were all done coloring They picked out a movie and we laid in my bed and watched it. It was an old Baby Einstein. Way to young for Thain, but he remembered watching it when he was a baby. He said, "Remember when we used to watch this, just me and you?" He misses one on one time with me, I know.... But we all three laid and watched it. We talked about all the animals, and Thain asked which ones would eat him if they saw him in the wild; and Ava assured Thain she would "save" him if an animal tried to eat him. They are so sweet together! It was all just so relaxed and wonderful. Reminded me that sometimes I do just need to slow down. No matter how much I clean the house, it will still be messy again tomorrow. But my kids need me with them. Paying attention to them, cuddling with them. And I miss doing that. It was a fun evening with those 2. : )

I give up!!! (at least for this month)

Maybe not the whole month. But at least for this week I have officially given up. My goal was 7 lbs this month and as of right now I am down 2. BOOOOO!!! I totally over scheduled the kids this week and it has left me no time for the gym. Everyday we wake up, go to classes at the rec center, come home so Easton can nap, eat dinner and go to VBS. Now, if the child care at the gym was open at 2 instead of 4 I could totally fit in a work out. But when I have to have them dressed, fed and out the door by 530, getting to the gym at 4 doesn't cut it. So while I have not been able to work out, I decided to go completely AWOL. I have been eating crap, drinking coke, and eating late. I am so disappointed in myself. Hopefully next week I will get back on track and at least get 2 more lbs off by the end of the month.

frustrating week.

I think I have had a good week of workouts. I have been everyday since we got back from Vegas except one. I have done 3 kickboxing classes, and stepped it up on my regular cardio. But yet.. I have gained 2 lbs?!! Well, and by gained, it kind of went like this... When we got home from Vegas I had gained 3 (up to 147) then over the next 4 days I lost 3 (back to 144) but now in the last5 days I have gained 2 (up to 146) Now, the good thing is that I am upset at being 146! Remember, just a couple weeks ago I was ecstatic to have reached 148! So that is the plus. And I totally know what it is. The last 3 nights I have eaten after 9pm. I knew I shouldn't but I did. And I am paying for it. Oh, and yesterday I ate Pizza Garden, and that never helps. LOL. So starting again today, no eating late. I feel good going to the gym everyday. I have basically been skipping Sunday because they don't have childcare that day. But I am just frustrated today. I hope that by the end of next week I will be at least back to 144. My goal is still 139 by the 31st!

boobies

Am I willing to keep losing weight, if it means that I will become an A cup?? So here is my plan... To hit my 125 by the end of August, then if I keep it off until Feb I can get fake boobies.... That's a good plan right??!! We'll see....

New Goal

Ok, so here it is... The next goal. I felt really good about losing my anticipated 6 lbs before Vegas. Unfortunately I gained back 3 of them. That's ok though, I knew it would happen. And the Bellagio buffet was well worth it! LOL. But my new goal is 139 by the end of this month. 7 lbs in 31 days... Totally do-able! I can already sense it will be tricky with the fast food. We always run errands around 10am which leaves us out about around lunch time. But I will make a conscious effort to make it home for lunch daily. I will be stocking the fridge with delicious summer fruit like the wonderful 2 containers of watermelon we got yesterday. And turkey and tuna sandwiches instead of peanut butter. I also bought Total raisin bran for those late night snack attacks. I am suffering a little with my work outs. I just need to learn to do some new stuff. I get bored pretty easily, and my arm and leg workouts are getting a bit mundane. But Rick said he would spend a day with me showing me other new things I can do. I am feeling so much better with the elliptical machine and the treadmill... Before I could only do 10 mins on the elliptical. Last night I did 25 mins easily. (except that my left foot goes numb.. poor circulation, I guess) And then I jump on the treadmill for a good 20 mins. About 2/3 of that is running.. I run for 7 mins, walk for 7, then run for the last 6... If I can! But I am feeling good, and the kids are getting better at the gym. But Makenzie and Thain still fight sometimes. EERRGG. But there it is. 139 by June 31st. Got it?! I will post a scale pic as soon as I hit it, and if I can do more than that, then WOOHOO. But If I put too much pressure on myself I will fail. So, Go me! I feel good about this!

Going strong

I am officially 144! So I lost the 6 lbs for Vegas. My goal was 6 pounds from the 150. It feels so good to get over that hump! And it WAS a huge bit of motivation. Now, I am amazed that I am only 5 lbs from being in the 130s. I know that is getting alittle ahead of myself, but I am ok with that. LOL. I have such mixed emotions about this. First the negative... I kind of feel like I am just starting to lose weight.. See, I was 145 AFTER i had Easton. Then gained from there. So really, It is like I have lost nothing since having the baby. It's weird, because all my clothes are now too big, but when I go to buy new clothes, I am having to buy the same size. What??? So apparently I had just been stretching out my clothes as I wore them. So kind of a downer having to still buy a size 12 at Old Navy. But then, I bought a Med dress at New York and Co and it is even a little loose. So who knows... Oh, Oh, Oh... and biggest frustration, I am telling you, I said it before, but it is ALL coming from my boobs!!! I had to go buy a smaller bra, and not smaller inches, just smaller cup. Grrrrrr. That really ticked me off!
But the good is that, I am doing my belt on one smaller hole. And I could even do the next smaller, but then it scrunches my pants too much and looks silly. Also, here is what I keep thinking, I only have a few pounds to get to the 130s... I mean, I did 6 in the last 2 weeks... If I keep that up, I will be in 130s in 2 weeks... THEN once I get to the 130s It is only a few pounds away from 125... And I think that is my goal. I know I wasn't setting goals before. But suddenly it seems tangible! I know that is STILL 19 pounds away, and I haven't even lost that much yet, But I am really feeling like I can do it! And that is such a great feeling!!!
Let me go back to the negative for a minute, and not really negative, just worrisome. Even though I am super excited about the 6 lbs in 2 weeks, and looking back I keeping thinking it was easy... Well, it wasn't I have to make a conscious decision about EVERYTHING I put in my mouth. I can't just stop and get something to eat, I have to go in, ask for the nutritional info, look over it, and think really hard about whether or not it is worth it. I CAN'T eat at night. And it is hard to break that habit. When Rick and I are watching some of our favorite shows, that is our routine.. Grab a bowl of cereal, or a sandwich and watch tv. And like right now, I am really wanting a snack, but I am going to wait until dinner. But it is hard, and it is really hard when I am emotional, and just want to drown my frustrations in some peanuts. So I have to keep my eye on the prize.. Here is what I am thinking, I am going to be hitting this pretty tough all summer. If I lose 2 lbs a week through June and July, I will still have all of August to wear a bathing suit and look pretty good. And I will have lost 16 lbs... Then just a week or 2 into August I can hit that goal of 125! So I have to think, I will be living in 3 months... I can either live at 144lbs, or I can live at 125 lbs. The only difference is an hour and 1/2 a day. I can do that right!!?? RIGHT!!

(Wow.. How cool would that be if I actually got down to 125??!!)

why???

Why does everything with Makenzie have to be a fight???? I am so worn out by it. And because I am not her "biological" mom I feel like I shouldn't ever gripe about her. But it is wearing me out!!! Even fun things. For instance, yesterday Makenzie was Painting her nails. I said I would do it for her, or it is always fun to do with a friend, but kind of hard to do it yourself. "I do it just fine by MY self" she says to me. ok, fine... about five minutes later she is "crying" in the bathroom. I go in there, and she is "crying", and if you try to talk with her when she is, she just YELLS! "I messed up my nails and now they look all ugly" So I bring her the nail polish remover,tell her to take it off and I will help her. I go in to help her, and she had just used a rag with some water to take it off. So now there was nail polish all over the rag, and she was crying that it wouldn't come off. I asked why she didn't use the remover and a tissue like I had shown her. and she yelled again. "It is just easier this way" SO at this point I am out... Don't yell at me when I am trying to help! I told her we would try again tomorrow night. SO tonight I go in to paint them, and as soon as I leave she is taking it off again with the rag. I ask her why and she says. "It just doesn't look good. It always looks better when Mommy does it" ERRRRGGGGG. SO I just smile and say, " It does look good when your mommy does it, It's time to go now." Then she was all mad that I didn't let her redo her nails!!!! (we had to get to the baseball game) SO something that should have been fun and simple mom-daughter turns into ugly yelling yuckiness. And it is like that all the time. I am just tired of it. Sometimes I would like to have fun with her!

An unexpected release

Are you ever at church and singing during praise and worship, and singing just an amazing song? Or a song that really speaks to you? For me it is always "I Can Only Imagine." Whenever we sing it, or even if I am singing it in the car, I well up with emotion. It is just a good release. I almost always cry, not really because I am sad, or anything. Just sometimes you need a good emotional release. Well, today I had a strange one... I was working out at the gym, and all of a sudden I was over come with emotion. I was working out really hard, and my legs were burning, and my stomach ached. And all of a sudden I just started crying. Not because I was hurting, I was just filled with ALL kinds of emotions... I was so proud of how hard I was working out, but disappointed that it had taken me so long to get serious. I was happy that the scale was starting to go down, but frustrated by how long I have to go. I was excited about my upcoming trip, but nervous about bathing suit wearing. It was just all going through my head, and I just kind of broke down... But you know what. It felt really good. I don't show much emotion anymore on a regular basis... It is kind of like, I don't have time to be sad, or happy, or whatever.. I just have to take care of the family, and be prepared for whatever... Not to say that I am Not happy... It's just that It's not very often that I get to think about things for ME, including how I feel. Like I've said before, usually around her I just AM. SO it felt good to have a little unexpected release. I'm sure I looked like a crazy person, running on the treadmill with tears streaming down my face, but who cares! : )

Emotional eating

Now are the times when I really realize how tied my emotions and my eating are. I am not hungry, but all I want to do is sit down with some peanuts! Today was mother's day. And I was a little boohoo for me because Rick is out of town. But I know that is not fair. I still have fantastic babies and am so blessed by them. But here are some of the things that have brought on my desire to just snack today. Every mother's day I get really ticked because Makenzie's mom calls and expects us to let Makenzie spend the whole day with her family. It's like they don't even acknowledge that WE 9 me and my mom) are her family everyday! And it is not fair for them to always expect her for ALL the holidays. They do, because Rick has a hard time telling them no. He feels like it is important for Makenzie to spend time with them too. But it ALWAYS interrupts MY holiday and it makes me mad. Especially mother's day. But today, as always, I let her go over to her nana's and spend the day. It is kind of double sided, because we actually have a little bit more of an enjoyable day here, because Thain and Makenzie aren't fighting all day. (how awful is that to say!? ) So anyway, she spent the day there, and I went and picked her up. So the part of Mother's day I got with her was, grouchy, whiny, and talking back, because we had to come home, eat dinner, shower and go to bed. Where as all day with her mom, is coke drinkin, talkin back, yelling, and gum chewin. so I was emotional about all that, then Easton has not been go down to sleep well. I feel bad, she obviously just wants me to hold her, but I am SO tired by 8pm I just want them all in bed and get a little bit of quiet. And that is SO wrong. What is wrong with holding your baby for an extra 15 minutes at night? So then I feel guilty. Also Thain is being really ugly right now. If he gets told no he hits or kicks the wall, he grinds his teeth, and clenches his fist. I have no idea how to combat this. And it is a struggle every day. Should I be tougher on him, or does he need more closeness and attention? I never know the right answer. SO all these things together tonight just wore me the heck out, and all I wanted to do was grab something to eat. Something mindless, just to shove in my mouth. I can feel it is either cry or eat, and I would rather eat. I am not though, because I like that I have lost 3 lbs this week. I think some of this might have to do with me not working out today because the gym doesn't do child care on Sundays. And I am at the point that my body needs the work out, or I feel like I am failing. I just feel a little yucky. But I am going to push through, and still not eat tonight. I will have my Total in the morning, hit the gym and will feel much better tomorrow!

Finally Back

I finally got back to the gym yesterday. I took ALL the kids. That made me pretty nervous because Makenzie and Thain cannot get along, especially if they are trapped in a room together! But they did ok. I got a good work out, and can feel it today! Did my arms, and some cardio. I have set a goal for myself to lose 6 pounds by Vegas, which is a little less than 3 weeks away. I think that is totally do-able! And last night, even though those cravings started, I did NOT eat my fritos and bean dip (as much as I wanted to!) And I felt good this morning. Even though I could barely get Easton out of her crib this morning because I was so sore!! But I love that soreness... The kind that means you are actually working, and accomplishing something. I hope tomorrow to wake up with super sore legs and butt!! And I know even if I lose 6 lbs before I go to Vegas, that doesn't put me in public wearing bathing suit shape, but I will feel better about it. And I plan on spending LOTS of time by the pool at Madalay Bay!!! I also felt good today as, I have worn my belt on the next smaller loop, and my fat jeans are loose. Alot of this is thanks to a short burst of vomiting about 2 weeks ago. (Thanks, Thain!) But, I am back at the gym, and plan on going 4 days a week, and working hard while I am there! Any of you that know me well, know that I am ALL ABOUT routine for the kids, and going to the gym at 430, really gets us out of routine... It makes dinner alter, and really gets the kids wound up. But I think I need to do this. Even if it means dinner at 645 instead of 6, and rowdy kids! At least I can enjoy my hour and a half of ME time at the gym.. OH.... And I even took a shower at the gym... I cannot tell you when the last time was that I took a shower and didn't have a kid knocking on the door, or pulling the shower curtain back!!! That was a treat in its self! LOL I am feeling good this week. I hope I keep feeling this good. I think now that Our trip is getting closer I am really motivated. I know there will be tons of pictures, and I don't want to have to hide them all because I am embarrassed! I want to buy a sexy dress, and maybe some naughty things for some kid free "adult time" (TMI?? Sorry) But I would love to buy them in a single digit size! So cheer me on as I go to the gym, don't eat any fried food, and don't eat past 830! I am excited and can't wait to post pics from the trip!!!

10 lbs down by the way!!!