Thursday, May 21, 2009

Going strong

I am officially 144! So I lost the 6 lbs for Vegas. My goal was 6 pounds from the 150. It feels so good to get over that hump! And it WAS a huge bit of motivation. Now, I am amazed that I am only 5 lbs from being in the 130s. I know that is getting alittle ahead of myself, but I am ok with that. LOL. I have such mixed emotions about this. First the negative... I kind of feel like I am just starting to lose weight.. See, I was 145 AFTER i had Easton. Then gained from there. So really, It is like I have lost nothing since having the baby. It's weird, because all my clothes are now too big, but when I go to buy new clothes, I am having to buy the same size. What??? So apparently I had just been stretching out my clothes as I wore them. So kind of a downer having to still buy a size 12 at Old Navy. But then, I bought a Med dress at New York and Co and it is even a little loose. So who knows... Oh, Oh, Oh... and biggest frustration, I am telling you, I said it before, but it is ALL coming from my boobs!!! I had to go buy a smaller bra, and not smaller inches, just smaller cup. Grrrrrr. That really ticked me off!
But the good is that, I am doing my belt on one smaller hole. And I could even do the next smaller, but then it scrunches my pants too much and looks silly. Also, here is what I keep thinking, I only have a few pounds to get to the 130s... I mean, I did 6 in the last 2 weeks... If I keep that up, I will be in 130s in 2 weeks... THEN once I get to the 130s It is only a few pounds away from 125... And I think that is my goal. I know I wasn't setting goals before. But suddenly it seems tangible! I know that is STILL 19 pounds away, and I haven't even lost that much yet, But I am really feeling like I can do it! And that is such a great feeling!!!
Let me go back to the negative for a minute, and not really negative, just worrisome. Even though I am super excited about the 6 lbs in 2 weeks, and looking back I keeping thinking it was easy... Well, it wasn't I have to make a conscious decision about EVERYTHING I put in my mouth. I can't just stop and get something to eat, I have to go in, ask for the nutritional info, look over it, and think really hard about whether or not it is worth it. I CAN'T eat at night. And it is hard to break that habit. When Rick and I are watching some of our favorite shows, that is our routine.. Grab a bowl of cereal, or a sandwich and watch tv. And like right now, I am really wanting a snack, but I am going to wait until dinner. But it is hard, and it is really hard when I am emotional, and just want to drown my frustrations in some peanuts. So I have to keep my eye on the prize.. Here is what I am thinking, I am going to be hitting this pretty tough all summer. If I lose 2 lbs a week through June and July, I will still have all of August to wear a bathing suit and look pretty good. And I will have lost 16 lbs... Then just a week or 2 into August I can hit that goal of 125! So I have to think, I will be living in 3 months... I can either live at 144lbs, or I can live at 125 lbs. The only difference is an hour and 1/2 a day. I can do that right!!?? RIGHT!!

(Wow.. How cool would that be if I actually got down to 125??!!)

1 comment:

  1. I think the statement you need to be making is..."How cool will it be WHEN I reach 125 and look smokin' hot in my swimsuit!!" May I just say how very proud I am of you, Jessica. You stuck with it and you are totally reaping the rewards!! Well done sister!!! You rock. I totally hear you on the ups and downs, but I am glad you are not letting it get you down. Anyways, I'm rambling a not. Suffice it to say, I am really proud of you and look forward to continuing to walk with you through this journey.