Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Conversations with Ava

Ava was playing outside with all the other kids the other day. She came in with her pants soaked, and she was giggling.
Mom, "Ava, did you pee outside?"

Ava laughing, "I pee outside in my pay-ants" (yes, she is from Texas)

She has done this a few times the past week. I think her brother and sister might have told her it was funny.

Mom, "Ava, Mommy and Daddy do not think it is funny when you pee pee in your pants."

Not kidding, with out flinching she looked right at me, stuck out her tongue and started doing her "silly dance" around the kitchen.

Ava, "Do you think THIS funny?"

I am not sure if she was trying to be a smarty pants, or what. But Rick and I had to cover our faces while we were laughing until we could talk to her seriously about the peeing situation.

I don't think this story comes across as hilarious as it actually was. Maybe if you see us soon we can reenact it for you
Just for fun... This is Ava filthy from her fudge pop. She is a mess lately! I sure love her!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My Jeans

Some of you have noticed that I haven't blogged about weather or not I fit into my jeans last week. My goal was to fit comfortably into my size 10 jeans by last friday. And I had been working pretty hard at it. Well... drum roll please.... I FIT into them!!! For about 5 minutes! LOL Really, I fit into them Friday. Then Saturday we left for Sea World. 12 hours in the car (there and back) and 3 days out of town meant junk food city! I ate as well as I could most of the time. A turkey wrap and fruit instead of fried chicken, a grilled chicken sandwich instead of a burger, tea instead of coke. But still it was hard, when we were grabbing fast food for 3 days straight. So by the time we got home on Monday, I no longer fit "comfortably" into my size 10 jeans. This whole week has been tough. With the kids out of school and us trying to stay busy we grabbed food on the way to the park, we grabbed food after the Arboretum, we grabbed food for dinner because I hadn't had time to go to the grocery store. I feel like a giant blimp. And I was excited to get back to my routine tomorrow, then realized I am not going to. Instead of working out in the morning I am taking pics for someone. Then Tuesday, when I always do my kickboxing, Makenzie has a play. So I will not be working out until Thursday. But then It is back to business! Woohoo!

picture taking is not always photography

I had my first ever total bummer of a "session" last week. I was nervous going in, because I know 3 month olds are hard to photograph. But I was so excited to have a couple of complete cutie twins to practice with. My friend Ginger let me take pictures of her little angels. I was so disappointed in myself. I couldn't think of one creative way to get pictures of them in some other position than laying on the floor. I had a couple of cute ideas in my head, but was completely unsuccessful in accomplishing them. Now Ginger, if you are reading this, don't take this to mean your babies don't take cute pictures. It's just the ones you took yourself are so much better than the ones I was did! And I am the one bragging that I take good pictures! I mean it all from an artistic point of view, not a personal one. But It was a good learning experience. And this is why I keep asking everyone to let me take pictures of their family. Just so I can get this type of experience. And so I can learn what to do if I have a baby that I can't make smile, or a toddler who won't sit still, or a mom who talks every time I hit my shutter button. I have to learn to make it work. And I am just embarrassed that, for Ginger, I didn't make it work. I feel bad, because I was expecting to give her a couple of amazing shots (and I am sure she expected that too) And I got maybe 2 good shots. And at one point I had forgotten that my camera was in manual focus, from shots earlier, so the one shot where one of them is smiling is totally out of focus. Oh, man! And my flash wasn't set low enough, so it blasted out their little faces. It helped me realize there is still SO MUCH that I need to learn. So all this to say... Sorry Ginger! I hope you will still let me practice on them sometimes. It was a good experience for me. And they are SO SWEET!
Handsome Kyle

Beautiful Cameron

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Conversations with Ava

Tonight, after getting out of the bath, Ava was walking around the bathroom. The floor was soaked from all the tub fun, and we had the following conversation...

Mommy, "Ava, what are you doing?"

Ava, "I walk on waddah."

Mommy, "oh yeah, do you know who else walked on water?"

Ava, " Jehut walk on waddah"

Mommy, "That's right, beautiful, Jesus walked on water."

Ava, "Jehut in my haat!"

Mommy, "Yes, Jesus is in your heart!"

Ava, "Mommy, where my haat?"

"Your heart is right here." I said pointing to her chest.

Ava, laughing.... "Jehut in my boobie Mommy!!!"

She is so silly!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Getting there

I am so freakin' hungry! Waaaaahhhh!!!! But I am sucking it up because I am determined to fit into one size smaller by the end of this week. I am actually watching what I am eating this week, which I usually don't do. I think I am doing pretty good. And I have had 2 great work outs this week, and have worked the heck out of my abs. Ouch! (but good ouch!) Now the smaller size is an embarrassing size 10. but still smaller than what I have been in. And if I can get into a 10 then I can fit into most of my shorts. I have slowly been moving down on the scale the past few days.. very slowly.. 154.. 153.8... 153.2.. 152.2... That 149 is so close I can taste it.. and I am so hungry right now, I just might eat it! LOL. but I do feel good because my tight jeans fit a little looser this week. Yiipeeee! I will be so excited to be a size down! because then the next size is a single digit. Wow!! So close!!! I think some good motivation is that I booked my trip to Vegas this week. And we are staying a Mandalay Bay. The big deal about that hotel is the POOL. And I don't want to be totally self-conscious hangin at the pool. I will let you know if those jeans fit at the end of the week!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Happy Birthday Rick

This is the super sweet card Makenzie made for Daddy for his birthday.

Friday, March 6, 2009

One down...

So I finally got to one of my spring cleaning projects. I did not quite follow my plan. But whatever! One down, a kazillion more to go!
Ahhhhhh!!! Clean craft cabinet
But how fun is my Laundry room when it is all clean! It makes me happy! I painted it this fun color, because Rick wouldn't let me use it anywhere elsePlease notice how clean the top of the fridge is!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Fantastic!

Let me tell you something...I am FABULOUS! No, nothing happened that has prompted me to make this point. I just think you all need to know. I am hard on myself alot, but when you get down to it, I am pretty awesome! I am not even close to perfect. But here ya go... I am raising 4 children, and am doing a pretty dang good job with it! My kids are USUALLY respectful. They eat their vegetables. They Love the Lord. They share their toys with their friends (at least Ava does. LOL) They know that they are loved and know that they are safe. And let's be honest, they are VERY CUTE!
Also, I AM FUN DAMN IT!!! I don't get to be as fun as I want to be, because, as I stated before, I am raising 4 children. And all that feeding, disciplining, boundary setting, prayer saying, and teaching doesn't always leave much room for fun having! But Dadgumit, put me with some friends and I am fun! I like to laugh until I cry. I am silly, sarcastic, and I think, pretty witty. (haha pretty witty sounds funny) Of course if you ask me, "Jessica, what is the funnest thing you have done in the last month?" My answer would be, "clip my toenails." But regardless... I am fun! And I am sticking to that!
More proof to support my proclamation of awesomeness? I am an AMAZING wife. Just ask my husband. (He better say yes, or I will kick his butt) Again, not prefect wife, but pretty dang good! I am absolutely happy with my place in our family. I think after my husband has a long week at work he deserves to spend an afternoon playing baseball. I think when a friend calls he SHOULD go have a beer and hang out. Strip club... whatever, I don't care. (luckily Rick thinks strip clubs are as silly as I do) I am proud to have dinner made for him at 6pm when he gets home from work. If he wants to watch future weapons instead of designed to sell, I am ok with that.
I also think I make a great friend. I don't get to do as much for my friends as I would like., But I LOVE my friends. And I think about them alot. I will always listen if they need someone. If I know a friend has a need, and I have the ability, at all, to meet that need I will. Ummm, ok, so again, I can't think of a specific incident in the last month that has made me a good friend. But I am sure I have done something nice before... right??
I just need to get over this need to be perfect. When I think of the people I love I don't put the expectation on them to be perfect, so why do I do it to myself? That is silly! I am happy with me!
So there it is. I am Wonderful. Ask God, He thinks so too!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I need to organize!

Is it spring yet??? I have the spring cleaning bug. Not so much a bug, more like a virus that eats at me until I am incapacitated. I am in such a mood to purge, and totally get rid of stuff. Here is my dilemma, and why I haven't done it yet... alot of the stuff that needs to go is either Rick's, or stuff that Rick's parents have given me. SO I can't ask Rick to throw away one more thing of his! He jokes about how when we moved in I got rid of all HIS stuff. Well, come on, he was a bachelor with very questionable taste. (Am I sleeping in a room with black lacquer night stands and a water bed?.... No) SO yes, we threw out most of his furnishings. But now we just have STUFF. Stuff everywhere! Here are a few of my pet peeves. And these things HURT me! Every time I see them it hurts! First is the top of our refrigerator in the laundry room. Uggggg. Now, what is up here is what I took down back in December from the mantel to decorate for Christmas. And I dislike it all so much that I have not put any of it back up. And I would gladly toss it all. The thing is, is that most of it is sentimental stuff. The topper from our wedding cake, a clock his parents gave us (that doesn't work) a candle thing that his brother gave me (sweet, but we never lit it and I have had it for 2 years) and a few other decorations that I am just over. And if I don't want to display it then what??? up to the attic??? Never to be seen again until we move and wonder why we kept it that long? I don't know...

next comes the top of our closet (shudder) So much junk! And you see, well, taken care of!!?? There are shoes and cowboy hats, and paper shredders, and clothes, and fax machines... Do we use these things? Not usually, but that one random time we need them, we sure are glad we have it....Then is the worst of all for me. Mostly because the other things are hidden... I can close off the laundry room. And I can shut the closet door. But this looks me in the face every time I go into the bedroom! It is Rick's dresser. We bought this new bedroom set last year. And We love it. But you can't even see it under all the junk. Somehow piles and piles of clothes end up on there every day. and under the clothes is even worse. Little random things, bow tie, watch, notes from the kids, change, chapstick, cds. Blech. And then the lovely hats going up the side of the mirror. He loves his hats. And although he only wears about 5 of them, I won't ask him to get rid of them. I have however suggested we don't "display them" He did not agree with me. LOL.
So these are the things in my house that are driving me nutso right now. But I have a plan... Tomorrow I am doing the laundry room, Thursday the closet and this weekend begging Rick to do the dresser. Maybe I won't toss it all (although I would love to) But I can definitely find a better solution that what we currently have going on.

P.S. Please don't judge me by these pictures. I try really hard to keep the rest of my house in order. It is just these sneaky little hidden places that get sooooooo out of control. Thanks!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

not good

I am in kind of an ugly place right now. I would not call it "depression." But it is not a good place. You may have noticed, I have not been blogging much about my weight. Mainly because I am embarrassed. I have sunk slowly into the "if no one saw it, it didn't happen" thinking. For instance, I just shoved 2 chocolate chip cookies down my throat while my husband was brushing the kids teeth. Hiding, in the kitchen. And with my husband having lots of baseball lessons at night, I have been eating late. But if he doesn't see, then I can still whine and gripe that I am "working really hard", and still fat. Then of course, I sink further because, not only am I sneaking around eating, but I am also LYING. YUCK! I know it is the devil trying to get me down and not believe in myself, and I hate that I let him have any power over me. But I can just feel it. Way down deep. Makes me not want to go to the gym tomorrow. Makes me want to give up. Makes me want to eat BOTH my enchiladas at Mi Cocina, instead of saving one for lunch tomorrow, because, "What's the point?" Then it all snowballs into other parts of my life. I am SO uncomfortable right now. That is the best way to describe it... Not physically; emotionally and mentally. I am uncomfortable sitting in my house because it is just a mess. I am snapping at my kids, because I am irritable and "uncomfortable" I just want to shake everything off. It's like there is a force of negativity following me and pushing itself up against my body. It is so hard to explain. Just yuckiness, in my head, in my stomach, in my heart, all around me. And most of it has to do with the shame of sneaky eating. How dumb is that??? And my poor husband doesn't know what to do. He just sees that I am grouchy. I hope he doesn't think it is him! I think it has all come about, because I got a little upset that even when I am doing things good, I am still not losing. I need to just enjoy the exercising, and that it makes me FEEL better. I have got to get out of this funk!! UGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!