Thursday, May 14, 2009


Why does everything with Makenzie have to be a fight???? I am so worn out by it. And because I am not her "biological" mom I feel like I shouldn't ever gripe about her. But it is wearing me out!!! Even fun things. For instance, yesterday Makenzie was Painting her nails. I said I would do it for her, or it is always fun to do with a friend, but kind of hard to do it yourself. "I do it just fine by MY self" she says to me. ok, fine... about five minutes later she is "crying" in the bathroom. I go in there, and she is "crying", and if you try to talk with her when she is, she just YELLS! "I messed up my nails and now they look all ugly" So I bring her the nail polish remover,tell her to take it off and I will help her. I go in to help her, and she had just used a rag with some water to take it off. So now there was nail polish all over the rag, and she was crying that it wouldn't come off. I asked why she didn't use the remover and a tissue like I had shown her. and she yelled again. "It is just easier this way" SO at this point I am out... Don't yell at me when I am trying to help! I told her we would try again tomorrow night. SO tonight I go in to paint them, and as soon as I leave she is taking it off again with the rag. I ask her why and she says. "It just doesn't look good. It always looks better when Mommy does it" ERRRRGGGGG. SO I just smile and say, " It does look good when your mommy does it, It's time to go now." Then she was all mad that I didn't let her redo her nails!!!! (we had to get to the baseball game) SO something that should have been fun and simple mom-daughter turns into ugly yelling yuckiness. And it is like that all the time. I am just tired of it. Sometimes I would like to have fun with her!


  1. That's got to be discouraging, Jessica. I am so proud of you guys for taking care of her, despite the trouble it can (apparently) be. Is she in any kind of counseling where she has a place she can process all that she is feeling about her mom and the issues that are there?

    I know it might not feel like this, but I think she really does love you guys. I have read/heard that when a child feels you are safe, they are more free to express their frustration. I know I have seen it with Nathan numerous times: I get a good report from wherever he has been and then I get the abhorrent behavior when he gets home. I understand that it can be that he was frustrated about things during his time away and did not feel like he could express what he needed to and so it has been stored for me to deal with; but it doesn't make it any easier.

  2. I split my statement up to make sure I could post it all!!

    I can't offer advice on being a step/second-mom, but I just wanted to encourage you that you are doing an amazing job with her. This is just a hard situation all-around.

    Jessica, you are an amazing mom, in all the forms it comes in!! i feel so ashamed with how hard I think it is with one and then I hear all that you are doing with 4 and your husband having to be gone so much. You ROCK!!!!!

    Let me know if there is anything I can do for you!!

  3. I love you Jess! You are such a great Mommy and I know that someday Makenzie will realize how lucky she is to have you. Someday she will realize that if it were not for you she would be God knows where. Just remember when you are feeling like you can't take another day that God has entrusted you with HIS child for a short time and that you honor HIM by being the EXCELLENT mother that you are! This thought is what has gotten me through some very difficult times with R's Mom. Hugs!!!