Tuesday, May 12, 2009

An unexpected release

Are you ever at church and singing during praise and worship, and singing just an amazing song? Or a song that really speaks to you? For me it is always "I Can Only Imagine." Whenever we sing it, or even if I am singing it in the car, I well up with emotion. It is just a good release. I almost always cry, not really because I am sad, or anything. Just sometimes you need a good emotional release. Well, today I had a strange one... I was working out at the gym, and all of a sudden I was over come with emotion. I was working out really hard, and my legs were burning, and my stomach ached. And all of a sudden I just started crying. Not because I was hurting, I was just filled with ALL kinds of emotions... I was so proud of how hard I was working out, but disappointed that it had taken me so long to get serious. I was happy that the scale was starting to go down, but frustrated by how long I have to go. I was excited about my upcoming trip, but nervous about bathing suit wearing. It was just all going through my head, and I just kind of broke down... But you know what. It felt really good. I don't show much emotion anymore on a regular basis... It is kind of like, I don't have time to be sad, or happy, or whatever.. I just have to take care of the family, and be prepared for whatever... Not to say that I am Not happy... It's just that It's not very often that I get to think about things for ME, including how I feel. Like I've said before, usually around her I just AM. SO it felt good to have a little unexpected release. I'm sure I looked like a crazy person, running on the treadmill with tears streaming down my face, but who cares! : )


  1. I know how you feel. As Moms (especially full-time stay-at-home moms) our lives are almost put on hold while we take the time and energy required to raise our littles. By the time Nathan is down for the night, I have used up any reserves I had and can just barely get through the rest of the evening before crashing for bed. I do have some songs that help me to release my emotions and it is such a God-send. It's like He knows that I have to have that release or I will explode or something! I've been feeling pretty emotional this week, too with working out. It's like I almost feel like I need to quit cause it's not gonna work. It never has and Satan is trying really hard to convince me that it never will. And, I'm letting him. Convince me, I mean. I just wanted to encourage you to keep up the hard work and know that I am really proud of you, Jessica. You inspire me to be a better mom cause I know if you can handle your 4, I can surely handle my 1!!! I love you and I look forward to seeing how much weight you have taken off this week!!

  2. Jess that is so great!! I am so proud of you!! I can’t listen to that song without crying either! :-) Love ya girl!