Thursday, April 9, 2009

My kids took over... sorry!!!

This blog is yet another thing in my life that I have allowed my kids to take over. This was SUPPOSED to be all about me holding myself accountable through you, but posting all about my fat butt! But NOOOOOO I am posting about my cute kids, and Jesus being in Ava's boobie! This is kind of what happens in my life...I love to shop. ANd sometimes I actually like to shop for MYSELF! What happens is this.... I will go to the mall, all excited to get myself some new pants, or a cute dress... And what happens I am so disgusted by how in look in EVERYTHING, and get so mad at myself for STILL needing the size I needed in September, that, what do I do... Go shop for the kids. I have spent the last 4 years using my kids as a shield. I figure as long as they look terribly cute (which they always do! : )) Then no one will notice that I am less than cute. I hold them up as props when meeting new people because I don't want them to notice me, or see the flab bulging from my muffin top! OOOOOOHHHHHH.. Look at the adorable kids.... pay now attention to the lady behind the curtain!!! And that is what has happened to my blog. I am so tired of writing that I am 152 pounds I could spit! Pa-tewwee! Since I am making no progress and have become embarrassed at my lack of success, I am throwing my kids out there. Hoping everyone will just be thinking, wow, cute kids... Instead of, "Man, Jessica sure is not doing so good with her weight loss!" And that leaves me feeling even worse because again, I am hiding. And that just breeds ugly feelings. Alot of my standstill has just been scheduling... Our schedules have been so out of whack since spring break. It has been dr appt time, and dentist time, and baseball starting. Just tons going on. And for some reason I totally forgot that I could just pay an extra 20 bucks a month and send the kids to the child care. I have been fretting over what I am going to do over the summer when the kids are home, when will I ever work out. Well, I am excited to say, Tomorrow I am signing them ALL up to go to child care. That way, I can drop them off, get 2 hours KID FREE, and they have 2 free hours of playtime! Win win! Why did I not think of this sooner!!!! So in the next couple of weeks, I plan on spending alot of time at the gym! And bloggin more about my weight loss success. I refuse to type the number 152 ANYMORE!!!

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