weight history

I thought it would be fun to give a picture history of my weight... I never had weight issues growing up. I was a skinny minny since I was little. In high school I was very confident, and really like my body, which I know is different than nearly every other teen alive. But I was good. I remember thinking in high school that my goal was to never, my whole life, be over 100 lbs, except for when I was pregnant, then I could go up to 125. WHAT!??!! I know that sounds anorexic, or whatever, but it wasn't I had a very small frame, and was pretty short. And who knew high kicks could burn so many calories!? SO I will start once I got out of High school. This is me in 2001. It was a few years after high school, but I was still healthy. I was probably just over 100lbs here.

After that, it all went down hill pretty quickly. I am not really sure what happened. It may have been that my husband (now ex) and I were really comfortable with each other. Or maybe it was the dreadded emotional eating. I don't know. I do know, that it starts to become REALLY hard to find pics of me at this point. I didn't take any. I also didn't see any of my friends. I withdrew from everyone. I remember being so lonely and jsut really didn't care about myself.Oh no!!! here is the worst picture EVER! And one of the bad things is that I thought I looked really good. I had gone a bought a new dress, and did my hair and makeup. I knew I had to buy a bigger size than ever in the dress, but I convinced myself that it was the dress, not me. Ummm.... It was SO me!!! That was a very short lived phase. I think as soon as I got these pictures back I got a new gym membership. I became OBSESSED. At this point I didn't have kids, so I could focus on whatever I wanted, and at this time it was the gym, twice a day, 3-4 hours a day(total, not each time) And I didn't eat. I lived pretty much on corn chex, pickles and a scoop of peanut butter. I didn't care how I felt, I just didn't want to be THAT person. I got way too small, I think, and way too fast. I lost all the weight in about 5 months. I was probably 94lbs in the next pic. Fine for an active 17 year old, not for a 23 year old. And sadly, I didn't feel any better about myself.

Then I got myself under control. A healthy, and good lookin' 105. This was right around when I got married. I really felt great, and I started having friends again, and letting people into my life. it is unrealistic, but I would love to be THIS again. But with 4 kids, I don't have to time that it takes. And I am ok with that. Next I got pregnant. My dr was a little worried about my starting weight to carry my pregnancy,and suggested I gain a few pounds.LOL A few??? How about 60!!!! I was a whopping 165lbs when I gave birth. WOW!!!! But hey, I was pregnant. Then came one of the hardest times for me. I had a newborn, and was going through a divorce (yes, short marriage)I had not lost all the weight. I was 135 after I had Thain. But since I had gotten so small before I was so unhappy with that. Looking back, man, I looked good. Was I crazy to think I was fat?? I was a regular ol size 6. I would kill for a size 6 now!!! Ok, I will go through the next few quickly, that was all the meat of my challenge. I was great pregnant with Ava. Lots of morning sickness, and stayed small the whole pregnancy. Only 143 the day I gave birth!
still looking pretty good!Fixing to have Easton. Again, I didn't gain much weight, I was around 154 the day before she was born. Gaining 11 lbs an entire pregnancy was not so bad! And of course I thought ok, baby will be 8, fluid 3, just that brought me back down to my pre baby weight this time... And I knew it would be easy to lose a few more, and i would be looking great in NO TIME! Boy was I wrong! This is me now. And yes, I pulled the least attractive photo I could find. (I have gotten pretty good at posing to hide my yuckies, but not here) It is me in all my grody glory. Weighing MORE than the day I had Easton.
Here are a few of my downfalls. Healthy food is much more expensive. I know that is also a great excuse, but let me put it this way. We have a family of 6, one income... I want to make salmon for the family, But it is $13 where as the homebakes are $3. So what do I pick when I am grocery shopping on a budget?? You got it.. We are so busy, it is just too convenient to eat out instead of coming home. And again.. Mcdonalds is alot cheaper that subway. another excuse I use... It is so hard to find time to work out. I am happy that no matter what, I have my Mon and Thursday work outs. But if Rick is flying nights, or has baseball lessons that is all I get for that week. Last one, I don't have time to sit down and EAT with the kids. I am in the kitchen with them, talking and stuff, but it is more of, Mom, can I have some ketchup, Mom, can I have some more juice, Mom, I need another napkin... you get my drift. So I like to eat once they go to bed. Now, that one I have conquered pretty well. I have not been eating late. But the others I still struggle with. Ok. SO that is all I can do for now. The kids are very irritated that I have been on the computer. (and rightfully so!)