The good with the bad

I am usually an "All or nothing" kind of gal. It is either right, or wrong, fulfilling, or a let down. So it is a little tricky for me, all this exercise, weight loss hub-bub. Because it is neither all good, nor all bad. And sometimes that is hard for me to grasp. So here it is. I will give you the good and the bad! Let's start with the bad. (only because then that way I can end with the good, and feels like a happier overall message. LOL)

The BAD.....
I have only lost a little over 5 lbs. (Oh, as of today I am 153.2.. 2 days ago, I was 152.6, but that went away quickly) 5 STINKIN POUNDS!!!! I am so irritated at this. It has been over a month. I have been fervent in going to the gym 4 days a week, and missing my cokes, and being so hungry at night, that I have been going to bed at 930, just so I don't get grouchy because I am hungry.

BAD....
The 5 pounds... yeah, they all came from my BOOBS! Ok, not ALL 5 lbs. But what the heck. It's not like they are perky beauties from my teen years. They need all the filling they can get these days! Why can't the noticeable weight come from my face, or my thighs?? It is not fair.

Bad...
I am sore all the time. When does working out stop hurting? And if it stops hurting, does that mean it is no longer working?? It is one of the obstacles I have to face in the morning, my body wants to stay in bed or on the couch, because of how I punished it 2 days before. But I fight through!

Bad...
It takes time away from the family. The kids hate when I go at night, because I am not there to tuck them in. But even worse, I am missing out on time with Rick. And that is in short enough supply already. When I go at night, it is really, "Hi babe, dinner will be ready in 12 minutes, please give them baths, I'll be back at 830." Then when I get back, he is worn out from having to deal with the kids, and I am tired form the work out. So we veg in front of the tv for a few minutes and then go to bed.

Ok, so on to the good stuff...
I have lost 5 pounds. 5 WHOLE POUNDS!!! That is 5 pounds less I have to haul around everyday. And 5 pounds closer to me being the sexy MILF my husband deserves to be married to.

Good...
The kids see me exercising. And I have conversations with them about it. We talk about how our bodies are healthier when we exercise, how we feel better when we exercise, how God wants us to take care of his temple by being healthy. All kinds of good lessons. They do crunches with me at night, and lunges, and think it is tons of fun! I think they can see it makes me feel better, even if they don't yet see that it will make me look better too.

Good....
I feel better about myself. Sure, I get discouraged that the weight is still there. But It feels good when I leave the gym nasty and dripping with sweat. I am proud when I RUN for 10 minutes on the treadmill, instead of walk. Or when I do 70lbs on the hip adduction machine. Or when I am the biggest one in the kickboxing class, but dadgumit, I do it full out the whole 55 minutes, while some of the others leave in the middle, or have to take multiple breaks. I feel good!

Good...
I can run around with my kids with out getting winded. That is a big one. Before we would go play soccer, and I would be goalie, just because I didn't want to run up and down the field. Last week we did dribbling races back and forth on the field, and it was fun!! We can go out and ride bikes and I am not dreading going uphill!

I'm sure I will have much more "good" in a few weeks. But I think that is a pretty fair assessment of my feelings towards all this. It is about even, the good and the bad. And I am ok with that. If it was easy and all good then there would be nothing for me to strive for. So here I am . 153.2. Not exactly where I was hoping to be at this point, but closer to it than I was last month! And hey, if I lose another 5 pounds this month I will be UNDER 149. And that will be FANTASTIC!!!